


Redemption Is Another R-Word, Reaper

by OfLaceAndGoggles



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:59:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfLaceAndGoggles/pseuds/OfLaceAndGoggles
Summary: A smattering of RP replies and one-shots I snatched off my tumblr in the wake of the Feminine-Presenting-Nipples-pocalypse on tumblr in December 2018. I'm doing my best to collect these here so I can write my own canon of things that I was working towards before I lost a lot of my muse for Gabriel. Tags will be updated as info is added. Separate replies will be kept as their own chapters unless context can be shifted enough to where it matters to put more than one reply per chapter. I know there's some good stuff in there, I just want it preserved. FULL WARNING: This is a MESS. it's entirely possible there's some duplicates in here. I'm deleting the tumblr it was on, so I need to just post what i can before that.





	1. Debrief

_“You’ll never amount to anything if you don’t stand up for something you believe in, Gabrielito. There’s a lot of strange and mysterious forces at work out there in the universe, and not all of them good. You need to make sure you’re on the right side of a given conflict, and protect those who can’t protect themselves.”_

Those were the last words his mother had spoken to him over the phone, and he’d hated how strained and upset she’d sounded as she’d spoken them. He’d carry those words close to him, the sound of her voice rolling between his ears as he pulled the trigger on Antonio, as he hunted down all the corrupt Overwatch agents before Talon got wind of what he was doing. Protect those who can’t protect themselves. Protect. Protect. 

  
So why did it feel so pointless now? 

  
Maybe it was the way Angela had hesitated before hugging him, when Jack had returned with him in tow.

Or the pause that followed whenever he spoke, or a thousand other things that reminded him that he still had work to do.

It wasn’t enough to just protect those he cared for, to let his guns be the conduit for doling out the retribution that these bastards deserved for harming his family and his friends- they had to be able to understand why he did what he did. To know why he disappeared, why he didn’t ask for their help. 

  
Even if he asked, he doubted he could say it out loud. How could he possibly admit that he’d always felt like the captain that was meant to go down with the ship? That he’d sworn revenge not on his own behalf, but on theirs?

Gabe already knew how they’d react. It was a moot point. Maybe they’d do the same for him, and maybe they wouldn’t. But he’d feel remiss if he didn’t even attempt to try and put things right. They deserved that much.   
And now it was up to him to at least make sure they understood. To give the explanation behind his actions. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“Athena, reserve conference room two at sixteen hundred for Commander Reyes.”  
“Of course, Gabriel. Who would you like to attend and for what purpose?”

He hesitated, rubbing a hand through sweat-dampened curls. “Everyone. I need to debrief on the Reaper situation.”


	2. A Peek at Time-Breaking Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one where I was doing a weird timeskip with a dear friend. If I made any errors with my spanish, please advise. It's been a long time since my high school spanish II class. There might be more to this, I'm not sure. Will update if I find any more.

It felt like the words rolling around in his head came from a dream, but Gabe heard them echo as he shook himself awake.  _Was that Athena?_  It was hard to tell, but the voice definitely didn’t sound the same. It seemed more like someone had said the words and then disappeared. Hm- well, whatever, he was awake now.   
  
“Athena, time and date please.”  
  
No answer. Not even the usual chime to let him know she was busy.  
  
 _Okay, that’s definitely not normal. Time to get to the bottom of all this._  
Gabriel wouldn’t have noticed anything different, getting out of bed to be thirty years younger than when he went to sleep the night before. No, no memory of the past three decades whatsoever, and missing about a foot of hair and several scars. He looked around for his Hellfire shotguns, frowning when he was both unable to locate their usual locker or the weapons themselves. As he located a simple tank and his usual hoodie and uniform cargos, he decided to try again.  
  
“Athena, report. Time and date. Please?”  
  
He almost didn’t add the last part, but was relieved when the familiar voice sounded from the ceiling.  _“Oh, terribly sorry, Gabriel. I was distracted by something. The date is February 8th, 2080. It’s ten thirty am local time.”_

Gabe felt his heart land between his feet, pausing with only one thought in his mind.  _Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit._ Before he could even adjust to what Athena had said, he had both boots on and was at a run for the conference room. He needed to find someone who could explain  _what the fuck_  had happened to him. Thirty years? Three whole decades? What had he been doing this whole time? Would anyone else still be there?

 

The ping to his comm surprised Gabe only as long as it took for him to read the first message, the smile breaking across his scarred face easily. He should have known Jesse would be one of the few to get in contact with him first, but he wasn’t really sure what to expect after that. How much would his subordinate have changed? Would Jesse outrank him now? He chewed his lip as he waited for the coffee machine to finish pouring his double shot macchiato, shooting him a quick reply.

[To: Mijo] New timeline, who dis

[To: Mijo] Ya sabes la respuesta a eso.

Coffee clutched in his hand, he made his way to the roof of the base, most likely to still be Jesse’s favorite thinking spot after all these years. They had a lot to talk about, but first he had to wake up and realize that he was in a very different situation than he was yesterday. The familiar anxiety prodded at the back of his mind, but Gabe resolutely shoved those dark thoughts back. It’d taken him years of training himself to do that, and he wasn’t about to let that slip now.

 

He would have known if Jesse was getting close, heavy-stepping or not- there’s just some things you can’t teach out of a person, like stepping more heavily on their left foot than their right, causing an uneven gait. Gabriel glanced up when that familiar voice caught up with the movements, lips quirking slightly at the corner. It was only then that he allowed himself a double-take- when the fuck did Jesse get a metal arm? At what point did he grow a full beard?

How- when- all questions that clouded his mind for a moment and threatened to overwhelm until he forced it all back down with a smile. “I guess many things do change in that future, but your uneven step isn’t one of them, Jessito.” He’d already made himself comfortable against one of the roof’s guard rails, and didn’t move to accommodate his visitor except by turning to face him. “What about all this though? You have a lot to tell me. And you can start by telling me who the fuck allowed you to get taller. Seriously, that’s an order. You’re gonna make me look like someone’s short as hell _títo_ by the end of this, right?”

No ill will was harbored toward Jesse in the slightest- in fact, he was almost positive this encounter was likely more entertaining to Jesse than it was for him. His expression turned serious after a beat of silence, though. He never could enjoy the good times for long, he was always too focused on the objective. “At least tell me where I end up in all this. Blackwatch- Overwatch- Talon… I’ve read some of my dossier, since I woke up. It doesn’t paint a pretty picture, especially when it seems like the brush I use in the future is stained with blood.”


	3. Sometimes things get Shippy (R/76)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a response to one of those tumblr ask memes. The feeling of it was too cozy to lose.

The rain against the base’s windows had most in the base feeling sluggish and slow. The younger kids on base seemed the worst affected, leaving mostly the old guard awake and drifting to the same rec room with a large wrap around window. Gabe found himself standing near the window next to Jack, humming affectionately as he slid a cold hand in between warm fingers, holding the other closer. “It’s not so gloomy in here. At least not as much as it is out there.” His lips found Jack’s neck, placing a soft kiss there as he came to cuddle against his back, resting on him in a way he hoped was just as comforting for Jack as it was for him.


	4. One of those Memes Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, what it says on the tin. Little tidbits.

NAME : Gabriel Alejandro Arturo Reyes  
NICKNAME : Gabe, Gabi, Vape Cloud, Edgelord, Dad, Pa  
AGE : 52  
SPECIES : Genetically Enhanced Human

personal .

MORALITY : lawful / neutral   
RELIGIOUS BELIEF : Catholic (raised), non-practicing  
SINS : lust / pride / wrath  
VIRTUES : charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience   
PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE : Making the world a safer place to live in for everyone, exacting revenge on those that harmed him and his loved ones  
LANGUAGES KNOWN : Mexican Spanish, English  
SECRETS : None that many others don’t already know.  
SAVVIES : Cooking/baking, Sewing and other fibercrafts, dancing, tactical planning and logistics

physical .

BUILD : toned / athletic   
HEIGHT : 6′1″/ 1.85m  
HAIR : Dark brown, usually worn loose and long. Long wavy curls, down to the middle of his back. Sometimes will wear his customary black beanie over loose hair.

SCARS / BIRTHMARKS : Many scars, mostly battle wounds but also scars from FTM surgeries, revised  
ABILITIES / POWERS : Incorporeal form: can shift form into almost anything, but natural state usually involves a lot of eyes, smoke, and tendrils  
RESTRICTIONS : Will not harm anyone he cares about.

favourites .

FOOD : pizza, Chipotle, In-N-Out, sushi, hibachi, anything that comes from a Mexican Street Food Truck  
DRINK : Tea, strong and calming. Coffee. Takes it with very heavy cream and sugar.  
PIZZA TOPPING : Anything with meat. Pineapple. No seafood.   
COLOURS : Black, purple, red, blue  
MUSIC GENRE : Vaporwave, cloud rap, retrowave, angsty 2000′s emo/rock/pop punk  
BOOK GENRE : Romance  
MOVIE GENRE : Drama  
SEASON : Fall   
CURSE WORD : Fuck. Goddammit. Hijo de Puta.  
SCENT(S) : Caramel, sandalwood, jasmine, motor oil

fun stuff .

HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL ? : there’s a glass. get over it.  
SINGS IN THE SHOWER : Yes.  
LIKES BAD PUNS : Likes and makes them.


	5. None interactions with left gabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> these are bits of conversations gabe had with other characters, only his side since i don't have the other author's permission to post. they will be separated by which character he's speaking to per chapter.

He listened. It was all he could do. He didn’t even feel the tears start falling until one splashed onto his hand, and it prompted Gabe to sniffle. “Goddammit.” He quickly wiped at his face, feeling a breath he’d been holding rush back to his lungs as he sighed. “You practice that?” He spoke into the suddenly heavy silence between them. It was time to lighten the mood, if he could. Gabe carefully stepped forward, giving Jesse plenty of space to get out of that space if he didn’t want Gabe there. The slight smirk was back on his face, the one he usually wore back in the old days wen things had gone south and they needed to have a talk before they moved on. 

“Let’s get one thing perfectly straight. Not for one second did I think you left because you didn’t care, Jessito. I knew you left because you couldn’t watch me destroy myself like I was doing. And while it hurt then, yeah, but I got it then and I get it now.” He blinked at Jesse with wet lashes, sniffling again. “You made me cry, you asshole. I’m gonna get you back for that,” he promised, the corner of his mouth pulling up. “Why don’t we settle this with a good hug, a plate of abuela’s paella, and we try and move on from this, yeah? We can. I want to. We still have so many things to discuss, Jesse, but damn if I don’t want to keep sobbing in each other’s general direction. So how bout we agree to get this out of our systems, and get on with our lives from here on?” It was a bold move, but sometimes you had to take charge in a situation, he reasoned. “So give me a hug, you dramatic, silly cowboy, and we get out of this sorry state together.”

\\-\\-

It was February. Fuckin’ February. And Gabe had managed to forget to give people their gifts. Luckily, he was quick to fix these sorts of issues.

It wasn’t hard to get the materials together, a quick trip into town and he had everything he needed. The blue and silver cape shone slightly in the light, just showy enough but understated at the same time. If he knew Jesse at all, he’d eventually want to break from his overall red-toned color scheme he’d adapted over the years. He folded it neatly without creasing it, tying it with a black ribbon and topping it with a new belt buckle to go with it. He’d machined most of it himself, extra as he was, and added some Glowmateria to the base to make the Deadeye symbol he’d added stand out. With a box of the Cuban cigars he knew Jesse liked, Gabe set off for his room with a sheepish look. He wouldn’t have had to be so extra with it if he’d just do these things on time, goddammit.

\\-\\-

Sometimes I hear you pulling shit out there and I just want to ping Morrison with a resounding “Before seven AM, he’s your problem.”

\\-\\-

The door to his office slams shut. His form goes completely indistinct, casting a menacing, smoking shadow over everything as for a while, Gabriel Reyes chooses not to exist. It hurts less that way.

\\-\\-

His jaw drops, and so does the tablet in his hand. He doesn’t even think, he just scoops Jesse into his arms. “I don’t care if it’s sensitive- you. Really? A little one? You? A dad? You could have named her anything. But you want to name her after me.” The end of the sentence is choked off, he’s trying not to cry. He can’t remember the last time he was this happy.

\\-\\-

Jesse, it was just a question- Wait, what?

REINHARDT, YOU’RE INTO ME?

Oh my god that’s so gay.

\\-\\-

Gabe’s head snapped up from where it’d been drooping, fixing Jesse with a stare. “What did you just say to me? Are you- no. You can’t actually be serious. Don’t you dare blame yourself for what happened.” A tiny crease formed between his eyes, sighing as he shook his head. “I can’t possibly accept that apology. Y’know why? Because it’s no one’s fault. No one but mine.” 

Regret and obsession with his task made it so easy to hear the voices, the now dead operatives that had whispered to him when he was most vulnerable. “You could have been great. You were great, and they took that opportunity from you when it was still in your hands,” they murmured. The ego stroking and conspiratorial tones had led him to distrust everyone around him. He paused, rubbing his face. It was hard, admitting you were wrong. But out of anyone he owed the explanation to, he deemed Jesse the most important. He had to make him understand. Had to let him know that this entire thing wasn’t his fault. Gabe couldn’t abide the idea of one of his favorite people blaming himself for what had happened.

“It was my fault for believing everything they said. I didn’t trust Morrison enough, didn’t trust anyone enough, except for the people that told me the things I didn’t want to hear, but secretly believed. They found that weakness in me and wrung it out on the floor like an ugly puddle, and then made me slip in it. I got double crossed, and I had to make up for it.” His expression softened even further as he stood again, crossing the floor to stand directly in front of Jesse. He couldn’t blame Jesse for running. He’d been an ungrateful, mean prick for the few years leading up to the disbandment and the explosion. Hell, Gabe himself would have bowed out respectfully if he’d been treated that way by a superior.

“I should have listened to you.” He ached to slip his arms around his son’s shoulders, to comfort him. “You were right the whole time….and against everything I should have done, everything I taught you, I didn’t even listen to my own instincts. I listened to my wounded pride and that snubbed feeling. I let it get the best of me- I should have just- fucking listened to you.” His voice broke, the edges of his vision going wobbly as he looked him in the eye. “If anyone here owes an apology, it’s not you, Jessito. It isn’t you. I don’t blame a single goddamn person in this base for not trusting me right now, with the way I acted before. I’m gonna work for as long as it takes to get that trust back- but we can’t move on from this if we keep holding onto it. But please, for god’s sake, Jesse, I don’t blame you for any of it and I don’t want you blaming yourself either.”

\\-\\-

The statement seemed to come out of nowhere, making Gabe glance up from his holopad to look at Jesse. “What the shit is that supposed to mean, McCree? Is this about the mission? Lack of intelligence and recon breaks operatives more qualified than you, you walked into a neighborhood in Grenada and found our man with less recon than I’d go on, much less a more experienced, specialized spy. How can you still be going on about perfection?” It made him stand from his desk, walking around it to stand in front of his youngest operative. 

“Jesse….” His voice was softer now, a manner he usually only used in private to let his team know he was completely serious. “I know that you’re used to Deadlock. You’re used to having to be a hardass all the time. Sticking your neck out the way you did shows me you don’t have to be like that. ¿Lo tengo? You don’t have to be billy bad ass here. You just have to be Jesse McCree. That’s all I ever ask you for. Got it?”

\\-\\-

Gabe threw up a hand to stop him. “Kid- Jesse. Listen. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” He shook his head, completely dismissing the tidbit about himself. “This isn’t about me. I’m trying to make you understand-” This was nothing, seriously nothing out of the ordinary. He’d heard it before, in some form or fashion, even from the idiots outside. 

“You don’t need to worry about them. You don’t report to them, you report to me……” You’re not that guy yet. You said it yourself. But you know why I haven’t tossed you back to Deadlock? You deserve better than that. I know you’re not that guy yet. And I don’t care.” Goddamn if it didn’t bother him how much they’d gotten to Jesse. He tried to stay as hands off as possible, but that was damn near impossible in an organization like Blackwatch.  
“It’s because I know you’re going to be that guy,” he continued. “Maybe not tomorrow or next week- but I know you will be, Jesse. You will be. You have potential, waiting to bust out of that godawful set of chaps you insist on wearing-” He snorted, then shook his head to regain his composure.

“You care enough about not letting me down that you’re terrified it’s going to happen. And that right there, that fear lets me know everything I need to. Don’t you see why that’s important?” He let the question hang, making sure to fix Jesse with a look that told him he was getting all of Gabe’s attention. Holy shit, was this ever bringing back memories of Papi, even more so than mentioning him. He always said I’d have to give this speech to my own kids… man, if only he’d known. 

“It sets you apart from every idiot with a trigger finger in this whole goddamn organization- You’re human enough to give a shit about what I might think. You have the self preservation enough to try harder when I correct you, to train just a little longer, run faster, climb higher. You don’t just have the ability to change, it’s the fact that I know you want to. Remorse, regret, fear- whatever you want to label it with. Moxie, to borrow a Southernism.” He drew the word out with a long, exaggerated set of vowels. Lighten up, kid, you look like someone signed your damn death warrant with a red pen.

“You’re not disposable. Stop looking backwards around corners for my boot to go up your ass, McCree. You’re not leaving us that easily, unless you decide to be colossally stupid. And you don’t strike me as stupid…..so I’ll expect your reports on the mission at the usual time.. and I’ll ask you once more; ¿Lo tienes?” Eyebrows rose toward his hairline, standing up to his full height and nodding at the door. This conversation was done, unless the kid had anything else to tell him.

\\-\\-

Preternatural hearing had come with the laundry list of things that SEP had affected even before he’d been turned into a physical manifest of teen angst and otherworldly hatred, but Angela had always moved quietly enough that he almost didn’t hear her approach. Only the tired shuffle of stocking feet against the spotless floors alerted him to the presence of another, a faint aroma of chocolate and warm sugared cookies… Of course she’d still smell like that. He didn’t turn completely, focusing on his food but nodding politely to let her know he’d heard her question.

“Paella- Paella Valenciana.” He gave her a sideways glance as he cooked, taking in the little differences he could pick out in the half-light from the mess hall’s dimmed lamps. “Rice and protein dish. Mami used to make it when I was a kid…” The sizzle from the meat and light steam from the rice could almost help him forget how they’d both gotten to this point, almost. She looked like she hadn’t changed at all. The mugs she carried were different, but that limp ponytail after a night’s research, the dark circles, just faint enough to catch the light, those were just as familiar as the constant whir of the nanites under his skin.

“We didn’t have rabbit in the kitchen here, so I made do with the roast chicken I could find without anyone’s name on it.” Gabe hummed to keep the rhythm while he chopped the onions and carrots to swipe into the same pan as the chicken. “It’s important to caramelize the meat before you add the veggies and all to the rice, but the saffron is probably the biggest part- gives the rice it’s yellow color and helps balance the two flavors pretty well.” He reached for the tiny bottle of the bright yellow powder he’d set on the bench, sprinkling it over the top of the lot. Just the sight of the powder was enough to bring him back to a simpler time, standing in this exact spot years ago with a whole rotating list of people, showing a lucky few how the dish was made, usually about this time of night. It was almost like a ritual for him, and he intended to bring it back.

He paused, turning a little to look at her a little bit better, smiling carefully. “If you want, you can have some. Still to used to my mami’s way- ‘always make for more than yourself, in case you feel like sharing’.” He laughed softly, grabbing a plate down from the cupboard before he moved to grab the rice paddle. Almost done. “’Even if the only person you feel like sharing is yourself,’ she’d always finish with…. But I’ve got a lot to tell you, Angie. I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore.”

Gabriel had no expectation that things would go back to the way things were, at least not completely. But if he could get Angela to know the full story, he knew it would go much more smoothly for everyone involved. Even if it took one hundred, one thousand plates of paella, it’d be well worth the trouble. Anything to right some wrongs….bring a sense of normalcy back to things. 

\\-\\-

Gabe had been promised a slow recovery process in the way that he’d be reintroduced to the world of Overwatch on an as-needed basis, so things wouldn’t overwhelm him and potentially cause a problem. In one of his daily briefings, he’d been told that time wasn’t exactly stable around the base. What he hadn’t processed was that entire paragraph about temporal anomalies that would happen to the members of Overwatch. He chalked that up to laziness and getting soft in his recovery. The Old Gabe would never have let a detail like that pass by without further investigation, but here he was, reading another memo that seemed to say that his boyfriend had woken up decades younger than he was yesterday, and to give him a decent berth or brief explanations of whatever the Commander asked about, within reason. Oh shit.

He was going to give it at least more than a passing thought, until his stomach reminded him that he’d missed breakfast. But first, some weightlifting, maybe a jog on the elliptical. Memo forgotten temporarily, Gabriel decided to head down to the training room. Picking up his old habits since Jack had brought him back here had done him some good, the routine giving him some semblance of normalcy. He’d even had Athena send videos and articles about proper nutrition and organization to his holotablet for him to look at; it’d be important or him to get back on a good diet and habits once Angie got him fully stabilized, after all.

The tablet was loose under his arm in favor of clutching a couple dirty coffee mugs to his chest. He really needed to stop leaving his dirty dishes in his quarters. He heard footsteps coming around the corner and instinctively moved out of the way of the other person so they could both pass, but stopped short at the sound of them. Thirty years of knowing someone wouldn’t shake the rhythm of Jack Morrison’s gait from his mind, but something sounded off- When he looked up, he suddenly remembered the memo on the holotablet that clattered to the floor along with the shards of ceramic between them. 

“I didn’t want to believe the memo was true, but it seems like time has caught you in an awkward situation, Morrison.” He was glad he’d at least decided to put a beanie over his long curls, hopefully the kid would recognize him. A sigh dragged out of him as he picked the tablet out of the remains of his mugs, tapping a spot on the wall to signal for a vaccu-bot to come clean the rest of the mess up. “Do you remember me, Jackie? I’m probably older than you remember me being.. by a lot.” Damn, he’d forgotten how dark those freckles were, how wide those blue eyes could get when he was nervous. If it wasn’t so weird, this would be a really funny situation.

-\\-\

The noise Gabe made wasn’t really coherent, but he tried to pass it off as a really harsh sigh instead of the hastily cut off sob. He knew their separation had an effect on Jesse, but if he’d had any idea that it would have been this bad… He shook his head slightly, a bitter laugh waiting to edge out of his lungs, but he stopped it.

“About the explosion- it’s a very long story. I’m happy to tell it. But I need you to know something.” He moved closer, hesitantly making his way over to the nearest empty table. He kept his hands visible at all times. I swear I won’t summon my shotguns, I swear I won’t attack anyone on base, and I swear I’m not, nor have I ever been, consciously in line with Talon’s ideals while I was an operative for them. The promises he made Jack echoed in his ears as he took a seat on one of the benches, facing Jesse. He took in the man’s appearance- my son, my son is all grown- his eyes finally coming to rest on his prosthetic arm for a moment. They’d discuss that in a moment. 

“Those voicemails you sent me- that day. I heard every single one. Over. And over again. I made myself listen to them. To remind myself of what I needed to do, to try and get back to this- to you, Jack, Overwatch.” He drug fingers through his long hair, never getting them tangled as the strands seemed to phase into a red-misted parody of themselves at the bottom every time he made a pass down them. It was easier somehow, telling Jesse. It would be a longer time of it, because Jack was privy to more of the details, but Gabe had a lot more explaining to do with Jesse. He’d give Jesse any details he could. Anything to get that look off his face, anything to hug his damn son again…

“I need you to understand something- Every single person, every omnic- Every former Overwatch operative I took out- they were all compromised. Talon, Vishkar, Volskaya, all of them. Even a couple Lumerico lackeys. They were all involved in Overwatch getting shut down. In fucking us over. All of us. They had some involvement with the UN, some of them paid off…. but I had to make sure they paid for what they did. It’s hard to reconcile it within myself.. people I thought I trusted. But they were all involved in splitting us up, making me feel like I couldn’t trust any of you. The road that I took to do all of it… I didn’t choose it. If I could have, I would have let Jack take me in a lot sooner. I almost did, in Cairo. But I couldn’t then. I didn’t have the answers yet.” He sounded crazy, he knew. But once you start telling a story like his, it could be hard to stop.

-\\-\

There’s no fanfare, nothing to betray that anyone else on base knows that Gabriel’s there, except for the heightened security. Athena spent twenty minutes questioning him, running his voice through filters to check for deceit, scanning his vitals to compare with past images of his details, everything to make sure that The Reaper wasn’t going to kill all of them in their sleep.

Athena was set to track his every move in the base until further notice, only letting him into certain areas. Perfectly fine with Gabe, right up until the urge to eat struck. It didn’t come to him often, and he’d learned to obey it when it came up. He’d found some older regulation clothing in his old quarters there, and had discarded his usual shadowy bullshit in favor of looking as normal as possible. With any luck, the newer recruits simply wouldn’t recognize him. But the older agents…. those he was going to have a hell of a time with. 

He couldn’t be mad. he knew this was coming, after all. Didn’t really expect anything less. Very few people knew the full truth of what he’d been doing, and he was sure many in Gibraltar would rather he be in the cells, deep in the interrogation halls of the Blackwatch wing that’d sat dormant for decades after the disbandment.

But his late night hunger pangs led him to the mess hall at around 0200, quietly collecting the ingredients to make paella. An old comfort food his mami used to make when he was sick. He was sure that someone would come to investigate, but it was better that he eat before someone discovered him there anyway… is temper tended to deteriorate when he was hungry. 

\\-\\-

Even after so long spent apart, Gabe still knew exactly what Reinhardt’s footsteps sounded like. He didn’t hear them until he got to the door, and he immediately stopped what he was doing to look at his old friend. The comment about his hair made him smile a little bit, but then he caught sight of what Rein was wearing…. And started to laugh a little bit.

“And Jack didn’t tell me that you’d become so… Fashion-forward. It works on you though, fuckboi.” He had no idea if Reinhardt would want to throw him across the room or crush his bones in a hug, but he’d take either one now, over being stared at like something precious, now lost. Anything to lighten the mood. It was so hard, going from being the joker of the group to feeling so somber and vulnerable around people he used to regard as family.

He could feel it bubbling up again, that feeling in his chest like tar seeping into his lungs and solidifying. Fear. Fear of rejection. Reinhardt had every right to not trust him, to want him as far away from looking comfortable in the mess kitchen and the people he cared about…. But Jack had wanted him there. Hopefully that would be enough to stop him from carrying out one of the hundred scenarios in Gabe’s mind at that moment.

-\\-\

“Reinhardt…” Gabe’s shoulders sagged. It made him look even smaller, but he wished he could still be smaller than that. As small as he felt. “You had every right to. I don’t blame you in the slightest, and you shouldn’t blame yourself either. You are the last person who should be blaming yourself for anything that happened…. All of my fighting, all of the harsh things I said-” He stopped, eyes closing and biting his lower lip. He turned away, moving to quickly finish making his food, talking over his shoulder.

“There’s a lot of things I only have my word for. Those people I killed… My word isn’t worth much anymore. I wanted redemption from the things I was part to, but I don’t know how to climb out of the hole I dug for myself. I should have seen the signs… And didn’t.” He trailed off, the feeling in his chest spreading. He was probably losing control of his form, letting himself get this upset, but until Angela could stabilize him, he’d have to maintain a fighter control…

“How the mighty fall, right? Strong, resolute, impulsive Gabriel Reyes… Undone by a couple of hired rats and thugs, drawn into their lies, feeding an ego…. Pathetic.” He sighed bitterly, plating the food and moving to take a seat at the table. “I don’t have the right to show my face here again, and here you are blaming yourself…. You know I can’t let you do that.”

He could see the smoke wisp off his form when he turned, and returned his focus to it. It wouldn’t do to get Reinhardt riled up because he couldn’t control himself. Every moment focused on staying exactly as he was… He let his hair do what it wanted, the strands fading to a dull red color and occasionally wisping off to rejoin some other part of his body. Pathetic indeed.

-\\-\

The quiet whoosh of air from the door closing behind him made Gabe stiffen, but the rush of air carried something with it, some familiar fragrance that stirred his memory.

Johnny Cash. Bottles of shared bourbon on rooftops, stained red fingers keeping blood back from cuts and bruises. Sometimes not their own. A worn out serape and hat, and an accent as thick as the Santa Fe brush wood, warm as a sunrise in the desert.

He paused, eyes closing when he realized who was in the room with him. He didn’t even have to turn, but Gabe knew if he didn’t, he’d regret it. Covering the pot and setting aside his utensils, he turned slowly to face him. It took effort to keep his face up and not hellish looking, but he’d be damned if he scared Jesse.

“Jessito…mijo… ” his mouth felt dry. He felt like he’d been caught doing something terrible. But how could he explain any of this? He thought for a few moments, then sighed, putting his arms down at his sides. “If you want to throw something at me right about now, I’d understand completely.”

He didn’t deserve the look Jesse was giving him. Hadn’t earned it. He should have tried harder to get away, should have reached out to Jack sooner, should have tried to pull away from Talon when he had his first chance… He was afraid if he said anything more, Jesse would just lunge at him and take him out. And in the state he was in? Gabe would probably let him.

-\\-\

He couldn’t help it. Gabe started laughing. “Charity case? Is that what you think you are? Jesse, just cause I happened to get along better with you than anyone else out there in that room doesn’t mean you’re a charity case, for God’s sake.”

He sat down the holopad on his desk, sighing, but his expression turned hard. “Did one of them say it? Vanyanova? Perkins? Kramer? I know those three have been giving you hell, and I’ll gladly set them straight if they’re so misguided as to think I’d take on some sort of bullshit like a charity case.” He stood level with Jesse, doing his best to look under the hat to look at him. He wasn’t the same kid that Morrison swore was unsavory, an irredeemable character in a pile full of even worse guys with worse attitudes.

“Jesse… Look at me. I don’t know what you went through out there, with Deadlock. I don’t even really know what you put up with from the others. But what I do know is that I don’t take charity or give it easily. I trained you even harder than I trained those idiots out there. Yeah, I said it.” He paused, before grinning ruefully. “Well, maybe not Shimada. But he came to us all…. Like that. The point is, I don’t ever want to see you putting yourself down like you are right now. Not in a couple hours, not next week, not ever. You are worth more than that. You are, even if you don’t think so.”

Arms folded, shoulders back. Even though he wasn’t overly tall in stature, Reyes still had a commanding presence. He’d carefully cultivated it, and even through the doorway of his office, he could see the other Blackwatch agents tense a little. He ignored them, however, turning his attention back to Jesse.

“Are we clear, Agent McCree?”

-\\-\

Sure, he’d noticed Jack was a little out of practice, but did Gabe care? Hell no. He’d dreamed of a moment like this for years, and wasn’t about to let his smart ass mouth get in the way of stopping this dream from playing out, just in case he really was dreaming. “I remember you learning this song from me. You almost broke your ankle on one of the advanced spins I taught you the week before, so you wanted me you didn’t want to stop, but you wanted to take it slow. This song was the one I picked…. you remembered. That’s why I’m calling you sentimental.” Jack was right though. Out of the both of them, Gabe definitely had more of a flair for the dramatic.

He didn’t have much in the way of organs in his chest unless he really wanted them to be there, but Gabe could feel the familiar but distinct sensation of his heartbeat picking up. “Yeah, maybe I do sound like a musical. Oh well, seems to have gotten me this far, huh?” The sensation continued to grow stronger, and that’s when he realized he was also feeling Jack’s heartbeat against his skin too, his body naturally manifesting his heartbeat to match Jack’s. The atmosphere was really getting to him, and he relished every moment of closeness he could get with Jack. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. They were together now, in more ways than one, and Jack seemed happy and eager to take next steps. 

“Course I like all those lame old songs, cause they all remind me of you, boyfriend.” His voice tripped down another couple octaves, the already deep, gristled rumble sounding even deeper in this moment between them. He found himself smiling at Jack’s words, and only froze for a second when he realized what Jack was getting at, pushing their bodies impossibly closer together.

“You sly dog. Buttering me up… I would ask if it’s my birthday, but I think that’s the idea.” He still felt himself relax even more in the hold Jack had him in, if he felt comfortable with anyone to do this, it’d be Jack. “How about you show me what other moves you’ve got, the ones I didn’t teach you.” His heartbeat hammered away in his chest, along with a growing heat that seemed to pervade his body. He remembered this feeling. And he was glad that Jack was the cause. “Don’t let me get in your way, babe. Come on, if you think you can.” He leaned to slowly kiss at the dip in Jack’s shoulder, not going too far in case Jack had other ideas in mind and he’d read the signs wrong. “Tell me what exactly you’re craving, I might be able to help with that.” 

-\\-


	6. sweater weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this took way too long to edit for me to let tumblr eat it.

The first leaves falling in autumn were things that Californians joked about.

Sure, that was the overarching autumn narrative, but it just didn’t happen there. The most they had was a little more rain. (Oh really? More rain? Wow, no one noticed. It always rained in the Pacific Northwest. If you said anything about rain, a Seattle resident was likely to come out of your mailbox to ask you if you ever remembered being dry for more than ten minutes.) But the air did turn a little bit colder, the nights get a little bit longer, and the lines at the bodegas for cheap coffee in even cheaper cups would get thicker with people standing closer together than normal to shake off the extra chill in the air, what their bulked up jackets and sleeves wouldn’t keep out. Conversations about the weather from years past would dominate the small talk, passing anecdotes about the Autumn of 2053, how it snowed for three days straight, right through Halloween.

When he was younger, Gabe knew what it meant. Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, Thanksgiving, Las Posadas, Christmas… all of his neighborhood would pitch in for the celebrations. Before the crisis, families from outside their neighborhood would come to participate in the festivities, human and Omnic alike. After the crisis, after Gabe had joined SEP and Blackwatch, things had become more tight-lipped. People were fearful of their neighbors, the brightly colored decorations that used to dot every window on every street getting fewer and far between as the years went on. Some moved back to Mexico, others went further inland to the Midwest. It was supposedly quieter there. Many families and cousins Gabe never saw again after the crisis, up and moved to anywhere but there, fear driving them all away.

Now, when he visited after the fall of Overwatch, things were vastly different. The grey rains seemed to be the only colors, the only things that stood out were the occasional orange and green decorations in random windows, families too busy to take down their decorations from the weekend before, others still stubbornly holding onto their Dia de los Muertos traditions despite the fear that seemed to fall from the sky thick as rain. No one spoke to him as he passed, in a neighborhood previously filled with bustling people and laughter, street stalls up on every corner from people selling food or little homemade crafts. His wanderings led him to the familiar scene of his old high school, standing outside in the rain with his hood up, staring up at the sky. Why did he come here? Nostalgia? Answers? He always did his best thinking when he was at home. 

His reverie was interrupted by the distinct feeling of someone standing not terribly far behind him. He ignored it for a couple of minutes, thinking it was just someone waiting for the bus and happening to stand nearby. When the bus came and went and he could still hear someone breathing through the faint patter of rain all around them, he sighed, looking at the ground and ready to bolt or fight, whichever it took. “If you’ve got something to say, you should. It’s rude to stare, you know.” He bit out into the cold air, not fazed by the lack of steam that rose up from his speech. Whoever it was had better say something soon, or he’d be liable to do something about their following him.


	7. more replies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yadda yadda dadda yeah this is tedious and im sure only interesting to me. its cold in this basement.

He could feel the nanites just under the surface of his skin warring with each other. He’d held his form for too long, and it was starting to take a toll on him. It’d been hours, walking through the streets of LA, and then only a fraction of that time spent with Jack… Gabe resolved to just keep the hand Jack was hanging onto as solid, letting the rest of him fade away. It always felt like lowering yourself into a tub of water, only the water is made of lightly fizzing water that’s cold and leaves your skin tingling somehow. It was worth it in order to not make Jack worried with him seemingly disappearing. 

If Jack had the visor on, he’d look sort of like a shapeless mass of smoke and vague notions of tendrils winding throughout, eyes and sharp-toothed mouths manifesting randomly before disappearing…. with a fully formed hand and shoulder sticking out of it. Everything that Jack was touching. The voice was even deeper and grumbly, growling than usual. It seemed to come from the heart of the mass on the bed next to Jack, sometimes coalescing into something that seemed like a cross between liquid and solid, almost giving the impression of stickiness when touched, only to turn to smoke and reform back to the mass if it came in contact with anything. The tendrils wound its way around Jack’s back, hugging him in an odd sort of way. Feeding off his body heat. Reassuring himself that he was still there.

“Catching up sounds wonderful. Sorry if I sound a little funny right now, I had to take a break from keeping myself together. Feels like hell after a while, but at least when I’m not solid it doesn’t hurt.” It also tended to help him decompress and process things a little bit better, when he didn’t have the pain clouding his mind. “Gonna have to sneak me in under some weird stuff, most likely… but at least with some of these new talents I got, I can hide in a lot of places now. Get under cracks in doors. If air can get in, so can I….not saying this to scare you, just to tell you. You’re in charge, after all.” It only made sense, keeping the upper chain of command updated with your skillset. 

“I’m still ready. I’m not going back to Talon. I’m not going to let any of them hurt you anymore, and I’m sure as fuck not going back there to let them mess with my head again. I’ll fight and kill every last one of those bastards if I have to, none of them are touching you.”

He felt the silence hang after he was done, not seeing much in this state. He couldn’t tell if Jack was bothered by his transformation, and couldn’t really bring himself to care at the moment. He was finally comfortable, this comfortable, for the first time in years.

“Let’s go home, Jackie.”

-\\-\

It was ridiculously comforting to listen to Jack’s voice, explaining things. He always did have a way of description that helped Gabe understand when he couldn’t process any more information. It happened a lot, especially when they were both leaders. Sometimes he just needed to sit close to Jack and hear him talk. It was very grounding. He found his eyes closing, breathing evening out. It was nice to have him close, but it did surprise him to feel Jack touching him. At least there. Even so, calloused fingers found equally worn ones, holding Jack’s hand where it rested on top of his thigh. It was like that hand was anchoring him to this reality, and he intended to stay in it as long as possible. 

‘I made you my priority.’ The words felt like cool air on a burn. Relief. He did care. Gabe wanted to kick himself. Of course he did. You didn’t call someone your best friend without meaning it. At least not in their line of work. He’d been so wrapped up in how he’d been hurt for so long, he’d rarely thought about how others may have felt about his absence. With a long sigh, Gabe found himself running his thumb along the back of Jack’s hand. “I’m really glad you did, Jackie. Try and find me, I mean. If I hadn’t run across you in Egypt… It’s pretty likely I’d be running a Talon board meeting right about now, barely remembering anything about my old life.” Sure, it’d take time to get over their old wounds and scars, especially the invisible ones. But he wanted to do it. For himself. For everyone else. For Jack.

“So….how long before everyone loses their damn minds when they realize you’ve caught me?” The smile came easily to his words. It did sound pretty ridiculous. “Interpol’s gonna be pretty mad when they realize that all they really needed to find me was an old man and some animal fries.”

-\\-\

Jack’s comments got a “tch” of air in response. Go back to dancing? With all he knew? Everything he’d seen? Could it really be that simple? But he still listened, he stopped degrading himself. Jack already knew they’d both messed up in their own ways and for their own reasons on this. He did allow himself to go quiet for a while, thinking about what might have happened if they had gotten out. A quiet house. Two dogs. Laughter- no, he had to stay focused. He looked at his hands again. They were starting to manifest wisps of smoke again, he was clearly too relaxed from the idea that no one but Jack could see him right now. the idea of removing all the extra hardware Talon had put on him was encouraging, to say the least. It meant Jack was serious about helping. His eyes raised from his palms, looking at Jack again. He was almost afraid if he looked away for too long, his old friend would be gone again. Another hallucination of a half-forgotten dream. “I would have liked that, settling down some place quiet… for about ten minutes. I’ve been in this world for too long, gotten too used to the danger. Too wild to be totally domesticated again, I guess…” He managed a short laugh. It was true, to a certain point. It did make him wonder, however…

“Even with how hard I tried to track you down, I couldn’t really get a handle on what you were actually doing. Why the hell were you in Dorado, anyway? I heard something about that.” He didn’t really have it in him to interrogate Jack, but he was genuinely curious. “Besides all that, what have you been doing to keep busy? Go back to your secret wife in Vegas and have like fifty kids? Bunk in with Ana? I bet you have a dog or something now. Come on, what does the Real Jack Morrison do with his time?” Another playful jibe, but he was still sort of curious. He had to have found someone as ornery as he was. 

-\\-\

Gabe was hesitant to let go of Jack, but he made his way onto the bed anyway, just using it as a seat. It was a hotel room like countless others he’d seen before, nothing in it quite as remarkable as the man that stood in it with him. Even though he was pretty sure Jack couldn’t see him, he watched him quietly anyway. All the time they’d been separated had changed them both, but he could only hope it wouldn’t be too much. He let out a sigh he didn’t know he was keeping in. For once, it actually seemed to bring as much relief as it sounded like it should. They were both weary. They’d been through hell and still managed to find each other again, in much better circumstances than last time. With a soft flump, he flung himself backwards to lie down on the mattress and stare at the featureless ceiling. It was easier than looking at Jack while he explained himself.

“Back before Zurich happened, I was almost sure you hated me. I had a crowd of people around me pretty much constantly that wanted me to believe it. And sure, it was so easy. The rough and tumble mutt from LA, taking the Strike Commander position? Of course it made sense to give it to you. You had the looks, the command style. Like you said back there, you always could compartmentalize everything like I never could.” Fingertips brushed silky soft sheets. It was soothing to the nerves to at least have that slight bit of texture, that smoothness. “I didn’t want either of us to take that promotion. I knew I wasn’t ready, and I didn’t want you to have all that stress on you. I wasn’t ready, but I would have gladly taken it just so you didn’t have to. As a friend. As a-….” He bit his lip, shaking his head. Now wasn’t the time. He pushed on, skipping around that. Just for now. Later. 

“You were my best friend, Jackie. In some ways, that’s what’s helped me hang on during this whole thing. If Gabriel Reyes was suddenly back from the dead, murdering what the public thought were Overwatch agents, it would look horrible. But if Reaper was taking on moles and implants from Talon, Vishkar, Volskaya- sure, people would freak out.” His voice took on a typical newscaster tone and inflection. “Wanted terrorist, associated with Talon, Reaper, kills four former Overwatch agents in gruesome manner.” He laughed bitterly. “How could they even sleep at night? Didn’t they care that they affected millions of lives by shutting us down, by trying to get us to kill each other first? I couldn’t live with it, Jack. Didn’t sit right with me.” He sat up again, looking at his hands. How many was it now? Eleven? Twelve? How many more people that hurt him, hurt his family, would he have to hurt back?

“In some ways, whatever they did to me, Talon, I’m glad, in a way. It gave me the strength to come back and figure out what really happened, but damn if I don’t regret the pain it causes me-” He could feel all the nanites now. Always could. Under his skin. Draining his energy to even keep this form up. But for Jack, he would. “Whatever was in that blast, it fucked up my SEP treatments something fierce. Talon figured out a way to temporarily stabilize me, but it has some side effects, along with whatever shiny accessories they decided to implant in my skin. Trackers. Probes. Inhibitors. But y’know, if I even have a chance to set this all right… the only thing I would change was the way I handled myself back then. It might not have needed to come to this, if it weren’t for that.”

 

-\\-\

“m’not a prisoner,” Came the grumble from behind the helmet’s face plate. “M’an asylum seeker, a refugee.” But he got on the back of the bike just the same, holding onto Jack as they sped through some of the traffic of inner-city LA. He watched some of the more decrepit buildings he was used to seeing in his youth fall away, only slightly distracted by the much warmer body pressed against his. Of course Jack would want a much less conspicuous place to hide out like the Valley, and it was much nicer of an area, less prone to crime or unscrupulous people lurking in alleys, like the Vishkar agents he’d seen chatting up a bodega owner earlier that day. Brightly light. Well guarded. Fewer people. Yeah, totally Morrison’s style, and Gabe was completely fine with that. He had to stay focused, anyway. He chose to purposely not remember which hotel they were staying at. It wouldn’t matter. Less likely they’d get found out by any prying eyes that way.

He stayed close when Jack took him by the arm, nodding once to Jack’s order as he silently scanned the hotel’s lobby. Logging the exits. Windows. Cameras, how many employees he could see as well as the general appearances of each guest in an abbreviated shortform in his mind. Large wall of windows. Valet desk. Concierge kiosk. Five exits, with one on the pool deck. Omnic waiters in the hotel lounge and bar. Seventeen guests- on and on it went, making sure he could remember and quietly watch for any potential threats that would come to harm himself or Jack while he was more vulnerable. All of this happened in just the forty five seconds it took for Gabe to cross the floor to the elevators with Jack, summoning the elevator with a push of the button on the wall. “You just let me know if I’m going too fast for you, old timer.” He tapped his foot impatiently as it came down from a much higher floor, sighing with relief when it finally opened to let them on. Empty. Excellent. He led Jack inside, spamming the Close Door button with his thumb until it slid closed with a soft whoosh of air. If he noticed his other hand coming up to cover Jack’s on his arm as the elevator began to rise, he didn’t let on. He was too busy looking at his companion, biting his lip softly as let out a gentle sigh. No questions until we’re inside. We’re inside now, Jackie, he wanted to tease. But he waited. After all, as much as he’d rather not see it that way, Jack was right. Gabe was absolutely in Jack’s custody, and not the other way around.

-\\-\

He was thankful for that gentle squeeze, then not so gentle. It reminded him that what was going on, it was all real. Jack. He’d found him again. Maybe they could still fix this, still be better not just for themselves, but for the sake of their friends and for the world. There was a hint of a smile on Gabe’s face at the jibe. Jack was right, as usual. He’d been promoted as Blackwatch commander only because he was best at following orders, going above and beyond the normal call of duty, going three steps further than any other person in his position would.

He couldn’t stop the way his eyebrows rose at the mention of Jesse and the rest of Blackwatch… Jessito…. the way he’d shouted at Gabe to just get over himself and talk things out with Jack instead of trying to serve his own pride….. one more person he’d have to apologize to, personally. It’d torn him up to not contact them all the way he’d been doing, but at the very least it was necessary in order to keep Talon from discovering just how much control he’d had over his own mind. But he couldn’t help but think of what the other man said, painful memories dredged up of Blackwatch falling around his ears, his people, good people, looking to him for leadership and Gabe unable to lead in the face of what was happening at the time. He wished they could go back and fix it all from ever happening. He wished he could hold Jack’s hand again, if only to help him feel more in control of what was happening.

Dark strands shook as Gabe sighed, trying to stay focused on the present. “I do want to get out, Jackie. I can’t keep doing this anymore, being away from my friends.. my family. You. I can’t-” He paused, shrugging into the motion of standing up as he gathered up the remains of his forgotten snack. A peace offering, he now realized. It made him smile again. Just for a moment. It was easier this way. His original plan would not have gone this smoothly, probably would have ended much worse. “I’m not going anywhere, Jack. Not again. It would take a fucking army to get me away again. And I won’t let that happen.” He tried to sound brave. Confident. The way he used to, before all this. It probably sounded hollow. It certainly felt that way.

But he still recognized orders when he heard them. “Looks like someone learned the art of a backup plan while I was away. Good to see you learned something from me.” Cockiness probably wouldn’t get him too far in this, but it was important to him to let Jack know that under all of what Talon had done, he was still just Gabriel. Gabriel Reyes, who played pickup games on the very court they were standing at fifteen, putting on a helmet to hopefully make the one positive decision he’d made in decades. He was still there. He just had to make sure everyone else knew that, too. “After you…. Commander.”

-\\-\

He looked up again when he felt skin touch his own, looking through the visor to where he knew Jack could see him. “I understand your hesitation,” he began, trying to talk around the hitch that had somehow made its way into his throat. Super weird. Was he actually about to cry over this? Probably. After all the shit he’d been through, he’d be a little remiss if he didn’t follow his own advice when it came to emotion. Don’t hold it back. Let people know how you feel. You never know when it’s too late to say something you should have. It still surprised him to feel a trickle of wetness running down the side of his nose, and just shrugged it off for the moment as the rain coming back through. He could hear his own voice saying the words, not to Jack, but to a much younger Jesse McCree, fresh off his relief from Deadlock…. He shook his head slowly. Now wasn’t the time to dwell in the past. Now was the time to fix the mistakes of his past.

Gabe was just as hesitant, though, and it needed to be said. “I’m not going to lie to you, Jack- I don’t want to run anymore. Hide, take orders… you know I was always better at giving them, anyway.” He digested what his old friend told him, feeling another wave of sadness rush through him. “Oh, Jack….Jack, you can’t blame yourself for what happened. We were both misled, purposely controlled from the outside… But, I do need your help. Man, do I need it. I really fucked up, Jack. I’m in too deep.” He let the word hang in the air for a few moments, taking the time to look Jack over again. Committing what he saw to memory. It was a habit, now that he was struggling to discern what of his memories had actually happened, and what had been manufactured.

“But, I accept your conditions. I’ll agree to go into Overwatch custody and I will behave. If anyone tries anything- well. I can’t say that I wouldn’t deserve it.”  
It made him tense to think about it. Reinhardt had already made some of his opinions of what had happened known…. How would the rest of them react to seeing him again? Would they hate him? Could he blame him? No. But he still cared for them, all the same. Whatever the cost, he couldn’t return to Talon and risk putting what was left of his autonomy in jeopardy. 

 

“I’m ready to go when you are.”

-\\-\

That sentence cut through him like a knife. What indeed, had they done to him? How many hours spent screaming on an operating table for his friends, for Angie, Ana, Rein, Jack, Jesse- until they decided to even try and stabilize him? Unraveling at the seams- Just like he was doing now. Gabe took a deep breath, pulling his hands away from his face to look at Jack again. He was so goddamned tired. He cracked his neck, an old tic to help him move on. He needed to do this. Couldn’t give up now.

“Listen- I don’t know all of what they did to me. But I don’t know how- I can’t break this on my own. I need help to fix this. No one knows I’m here except for Sombra. She cut out my tracking probe as a personal favor to me. It’s on a plane to Austria right now-” Home. The word gave him pause. He hadn’t had anywhere he could belong since Zurich. But even the constant pain he felt- figurative and literal- it was even less now, just telling Jack all of this. Could he really go home? Was there even still a home to go to? How would everyone else react to this? He bit his lips. He hated asking anyone for help.

“I would rather just fucking die than bring them to your doorstep. Really. I’ve hurt you all enough. The only reason I’m reaching out now is to hopefully set the record straight, and so maybe I won’t have to die alone, in constant fucking pain and wondering which thoughts, which memories are really mine.” He needed to set things right. At this point, it was his dying wish. If he could get all that settled, make everyone aware of what happened from the source, then maybe he could feel justified going to his grave knowing all his chosen family hated him for the things he’d done. 

 

“I’m fully prepared to face consequences for the things I’ve done. Prison, death sentence, whatever it takes. But I just needed to set the record straight first, if it was the last thing I did.”

-\\-\

He wasn’t going to pretend the outburst didn’t hurt. Of course it did. But he held fast to his bravado. What he knew to be the truth. “I wasn’t finished,” He said quietly. There was still so much more to tell him, with Jack’s rebuke echoing in his ears. It would be so easy to get up and walk away. In a different time, he would have. But now, he silently reached up to his forehead, pulling his hair away from his scalp and turning his head so Jack could see what was embedded there. Tiny, red probes. They looked smooth, almost like painted glass. But they were unmistakably wired into his skin, and one could deduce that they’d been there for awhile.

“They kept me so busy, I didn’t even know these were here for almost two years. I was told they had figured out a way to stabilize my body after Zurich. That the nanites were being controlled by their technology, allowing me to take form.” He dropped his hair, looking at Jack for a moment before continuing. How much was Jack going to believe? Sure, he had proof other than this, but would he even listen? He let his hair fall again, tilting his head a little as he tried to gauge Jack’s reaction. He wanted to throw something, but he had to control his rage and temper. Had to help Jack understand. 

“And yeah, they were doing that. I can take a few different forms, with whatever technology these things are using. They’re all down my spine, too, since that got crushed in the blast. They keep me alive, they let me control my form. But what they didn’t tell me was that they could also control me with them. Not my body, no. They were telling me things and making it a lot easier for me to accept them as fact. Terrible- god, fucking terrible things, Jack. That none of you ever gave a shit about me, was the most popular conspiracy.”

He laughed bitterly. It was god awful to say it all out loud, finally. But he couldn’t stop now. “I almost believed it, too. Until they started fucking with my memories. They tried to change why I signed up for SEP- meeting you- everything. Slowly. Just so I wouldn’t notice.” He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. “I had to play along for a little while. That’s when Egypt came up.” He paused, standing and looking Jack’s visor. He couldn’t see his face. Didn’t need to. All that fire and intensity was still there, after all those years, beneath glass and wires. He could remember the sand swirling around them, the pained noise Jack made- He shook his head. He had to stay focused. His form was already starting to leak smoke at the edges, little black wisps coming from his skin and clothes.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Jack. I really didn’t. And I can never say sorry enough times for it to sound genuine right now, I‘m sure. But if I’d let you go without- I had to take out the moles, Jack. Find out why they did this to me. To you. Us. All of us. And that’s about when I realized the level of control they had, and bailed.” He sat back down. Everything hurt. His vision buzzed with red at the edges. All this effort was so exhausting. But he’d talk for weeks without stopping if it gave Jack a chance to understand even half of what happened.

“I got in touch with Sombra. Got her to make up a device for me that would get the data from the Overwatch agent database. I had to clean the slate, make sure this wouldn’t happen again. They’ve still been searching for you. Talon. Trying desperately to get me, their corrupted little sheep back to come play with the wolves.” He paused only when his voice broke. He didn’t even realize that he’d been raising his voice. “I didn’t want any of this to happen,” he said through his hands, muffling his voice. “I never wanted to hurt any of you. You were my family. My friends. And this- it’s all my fault. You have every right to say what you just did.”

-\\-\

He couldn’t stop the sigh. It was no use trying to keep up the act, even for old time’s sake. He did allow a chuckle at one comment, though. Jack was right, he was dangerous even without weapons. They both were. 

“Smoke shit, huh? That’s what we’re gonna call it…hm. Well, it’s actually called wraith form. That uh, form I take on, anyway. I can use it to fly, but it hurts like hell to do. But then, so does everything else.” He cleared his throat, letting his hood fall back finally as he reached for the bag of food. It wasn’t raining anymore, anyhow. His beanie faded into mist, letting his long curls fall past his shoulders. He finally brought himself to look into Jack’s visor, knowing exactly the kind of face Jack would be making about it. 

“No, I still definitely remember that we were friends. I just wondered how much you would have tried to forget. I wouldn’t really blame you.” It was actually very telling that Jack brought the food at all. He had to have remembered that Gabe was best at speaking the truth openly and honestly if he had food in front of him. He began to dig in, pausing between bites to be able to figure out the best place to start this long tale.

“I guess I should start a few months before the explosion. I didn’t know it until afterwards, but a couple of our newer recruits were planted there. Moles, reporting back to other organizations of our operations. At the time, they were only there to whisper. Plant seeds of doubt. We both knew that something big was coming, Jack. They tried to convince me it was going to be you. But then they turned all back on me. They made it seem as if I did it. Fake body and everything, complete with a fake detonator, connected to nothing.” He paused again, moving his hair out of his eyes before reaching for the double double. He wouldn’t raise his voice. Didn’t want anyone that might have followed them to hear it. He didn’t want to tell this story as much as he wanted Jack to hear it. But he had to know. He couldn’t keep living life like this, running from the people he loved.  
-\\-\

He’d know that voice anywhere. Could probably count the nights he’d lost sleep over hearing it in his flashbacks, the memories from years ago. But somehow, even after all his psyching up to come for this meeting, Gabe hesitated. He wondered how Jack would react… but if he already brought food…. maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He wasn’t armed. Granted, he could materialize his weapons at will, but it was his will that kept him from summoning them to his palms. He turned slowly, looking over his old friend curiously.How long had he waited for this? Just to see him? Have the chance to explain? He fought off a quiet chuckle and lost. Without the mask, his voice was just as gritty, if not more gravel than Jack probably remembered.

“In that getup? You look more like you were expecting me to challenge you to a run than to talk about the past like the couple of old men we are now.” It was a friendly jibe. No steel at all to his words. Cope with humor. Making dad jokes since before anyone had ever called him dad. Still, through that helmet, it wqas tough to tell if it was Jack- no. No. He’d know that walk even in a crowded bus station.It was really him. Still, he showed Jack that he was empty handed, shaking his head. “Completely unarmed, for the moment. You have my word I won’t bring them out, either. If it means anything.” Pretty standard to let the other party know you weren’t planning to get hostile. If you didn’t want to get arrested, that is. Or worse.

Gabe sat on the sodden picnic table nearby, glad that it had recently rained. It meant they’d be completely undisturbed, as the citizens of the area tended to stay indoors all day once there was even a drizzle. “Animal fries- oh, you’re trying to butter me up, Jack, admit it. Come on now, there’s no way you couldn’t have known those were my favorite.” He was even smiling a little, under his hood. It was so easy to pretend that they were just two friends meeting up after a time away. It wasn’t that simple, but he sighed after a while.   
“I have some explaining to do. I hope you banked on being here for at least a few hours.” That was of course, assuming that Jack hadn’t planned this as bait to take him in and interrogate him properly. It wouldn’t surprise him. The Reaper had quite the reputation now. At the very least, if this was all a ploy to bring him in- well, then perhaps it was for the best. 

-\\-\

When he’d first moved from LA to the big, hulking Soldier Enhancement Program building, the few people he’d made friends with had always asked him what, if anything, Gabe missed about his hometown. There was a lot. Where to start?

He could always open with how his dance studio smelled, the floors lovingly waxed and the chalk ready for his kids to start their routines. The light slitting through the shades and hitting the huge mirror along the entire length of one wall, making the entire space seem ethereal and dreamy when he first unlocked the door in the mornings. How the dust motes seemed to be the first ones to take the floor first, swirling gently between spaces lit and unlit on the floors.

He could talk about the hole-in-the wall food joints, the smiling aunts and uncles that owned the foggy windows of bodegas, staying open to serve one last cup of boba tea before the curfew came. How all the locals seemed to understand each other, mixed and spliced jokes of Tagalog, Vietnamese, Mexican Spanish, all ringing in his ears and in his aching stomach muscles from the hours of jokes and anecdotes about stupid tourists. The vintage neon signs, now illegal to make but legal to own and maintain, steadily twinkling to anyone that walked by that they could achieve their dreams with a lotto spin or feed their families with just a few credits. 

Running to catch a train. (Usually missing the train. Having to take a hoverbus instead.) All the different people one could run into. Sometimes you ran into happy couples, quietly enjoying each other’s presence. Performance artists, busking on the train and playing songs from holovid shows with out of tune ukuleles. It all seemed as blurry as a hazy memory, even though he’d somehow managed to get on the train unnoticed to get there. Not that they’d care. The people of his city usually had their own problems to worry about than some weird guy in a jacket chilling around an empty park.

Gabe kicked a couple loose pebbles of gravel into a puddle in what was once one of his favorite spots. Hood up, few of the even fewer people that managed to catch sight of him would recognize him, only spotting a hooded figure with a beanie, thick boots and longer pants on. Yeah, it was starting to get chilly in his old stomping grounds, but this was just how he liked it. Promises of huddling up with people you loved and going to a late night bonfire on the beaches, or trekking up to the mountains and sleeping the weekend away in a tent. Not many of the thin crowd would have any idea that an internationally notorious terrorist leaned against a chain link fence only a few meters away. Face upturned back into the drizzle that was coming through the haze like a warm blanket. It’d get colder soon. By Halloween, his jacket would be more appropriate for the weather.

No, what Gabe usually found himself talking about was the way the parks and basketball courts looked just a couple hours before curfew. Drizzly, rainy Los Angeles, leaving her asphalt jungles moistened but the spirits of those that played on them never dampened, not even for a moment. He could have just wraithed his way there. But no. It was far more important to walk. Shoulder through the pain and keep moving. He needed this. Needed this meeting with Jack. He hoped he’d actually listened and came. Alone. He’d feel pretty awkward if he got stood up.

Wouldn’t be the first time, his mind reminded him, rather nastily. Gabe shoved that thought away. He had to believe Morrison would meet him here. They both needed to get through this. This was the easy way. He’d take the hard way, if necessary.

-\\-\

Wait.

So you mean to tell me.

After all the bullshit this world has gone through.

I still have to actually wait in line to get Chipotle?

I’m outraged. This is unacceptable. Going on a taco truck hunt instead.

-\\-\

A soft, gritty sigh falls from behind the mask. And yet, he reaches, clawed fingers making a ripping motion at the molded surface, causing it to disappear within a curling tendril of black mist. For the first time in years, Gabriel Reyes looked at his old friend with his own eyes. Still the same deep brown, the skin around it a little damaged… And trying very hard to focus on the several more eyes that wanted to manifest around his original two, to keep them away so as not to frighten her… He missed her, obviously. He wanted her to see how badly he wanted her to believe him. Chapped and scarred lips moved as he spoke, although if one were paying attention enough, it almost seemed to come at a slight delay from the sounds he made when speaking. As though he were physically manifesting himself and he were distracted.

 

“I don’t want to harm him. Or any of you. I just… I need to see him. I need to make things right- as long as the rest of you are open to it. If not- I’ll disappear back into the hole I came from.”

It had been a while since he’d needed to show anyone his face. God, the pain it caused, he could feel it vibrating in the nanites that made up his form. An endless stream of thoughts that made him want to cry out, to hurt and maim as long as it would make the pain stop. But he would never harm Angela. No, she had been one of his dearest friends. Even if he’d been brainwashed like Amélie, Gabriel had always assumed something in his being would stop him from hurting her. It was hard to ground himself in the present, but with a steadying best he didn’t need, he managed it. He kept eye contact, but his look went softer. This wasn’t the expression he reserved for interrogating prisoners of Talon. No. He was starting to plead with her.

“Angie, this is going to sound crazy, but… I’m so tired. Just… Exhausted. I came here today to bargain. And I figured you’d be the only one to not shoot and ask questions later, if I was seen. I can’t promise I’m surrendering. But I need you to know that I’m willing to stay in Overwatch custody until Morrison can talk with me. There’s no more running, no other corner of the world I can hide in where I won’t be in pain, every time I move…” He closed his eyes while he waited. After all, what was time? What was time, to a man whose every second felt like a lifetime of painful sensation? If she was going to raise the alarm, try to subdue him- he wouldn’t fight back.

-\\-\


End file.
